If you had only one year to live, what would you do?

Imagine this was your last year to live. Would you change your work situation? Would you quit? Reduce work hours, change jobs, go to study long-admired skills which you haven’t done until yet because you thought they are not economically viable? Buy yourself the piano you always wanted? Get divorced? Change your surroundings? Search for what keeps you away from the life you want to live? Go on like before?

Tina

Can I die peacefully with no regrets, be fully prepared with technical, emotional and mental readiness? Can I be prepared so as I have no worries of unfinished business, no urgent thing to do and no fear of dropping away?

Doron

These questions and creating a living and dying retreat were our starting point for the one-year-to-live-as-if-it-were-your-last experience. In this blog we will share our questions, preparations, feelings, thoughts and ideas about our "last year". (Hopefully we have this year left until we die - nobody knows.)

Last year to live

The book by Stephen Levine "A Year to Live" will be a basic guideline which we will adapt and expand to our needs and ideas of creating a "last year to live". For preparing for dying or starting to prove where we don't live fully or finding equanimity in living and dying or.....

Tina Preisler and myself will go through this experiment together, and share with you our process and findings.

Questions from Tina

1. When shall we start our last year? At what place we will be in one year? Do we want to die at the same place? Who is dying first? Are we dying together at the same time?
   Do you want to die first so that you don't have to feel the grief about the death of the other?
   How can we tell death that we are only pretending to live our last year? ;-) (First superstition? When we talk about death and set a date for our death will it happen?)
   Would I really start building a house if this will be my last year to live? (Yes, I would - and at the DYZC!)
2. When shall we start our last year? At what place we will be in one year? Do we want to die at the same place? Who is dying first? Are we dying together at the same time?
3. Do you want to die first so that you don't have to feel the grief about the death of the other?
4. How can we tell death that we are only pretending to live our last year? ;-) (First superstition? When we talk about death and set a date for our death will it happen?)
5. Would I really start building a house if this will be my last year to live? (Yes, I would - and at the DYZC!)

Answers from Doron

1. Any day is good - we can never plan this anyway, and it is almost never a good time to die. Makes no difference where we will be for dying, who dies first or any such planning. Since we could know any of these things in the true reality of death, trying to plan this defeats the purpose. We should just go as random as possible, same like death acts in reality.
   Learning to grieve is important and dealing with the death of others is as important as our own. Since hopefully no one will die this year, it makes no difference.
   Good one! I'll call him up later tonight :)
   My first thought about this year is to quit everything I am working on and just rest and read the rest of it. However, I think evolution is smart, and made sure we do not know when we really die, so we keep producing and doing.
2. Any day is good - we can never plan this anyway, and it is almost never a good time to die. Makes no difference where we will be for dying, who dies first or any such planning. Since we could know any of these things in the true reality of death, trying to plan this defeats the purpose. We should just go as random as possible, same like death acts in reality.
3. Learning to grieve is important and dealing with the death of others is as important as our own. Since hopefully no one will die this year, it makes no difference.
4. Good one! I'll call him up later tonight :)
5. My first thought about this year is to quit everything I am working on and just rest and read the rest of it. However, I think evolution is smart, and made sure we do not know when we really die, so we keep producing and doing.

We need to create as if we have 20 more years to live, but live the moment as if we die tomorrow. The two seem like contradictions, but they compliment each other. I am still running the center, as if I have 20 years to go, but dancing, eating mindfully, smiling to friends, feeling love, sharing gratitude, as if this is my last day.

We would love you to join us on this last year to live experiment! Join in with comments - any thoughts about what we write, any experience you may have with death or dying. Maybe you have been told you have a specific amount of time left, maybe this is your last year to live? - would love to know what you are going through, and what you recommend.

Further reading

• We fear death, but what if dying isn't as bad as we think?
  Dying Is Unexpectedly Positive
• We fear death, but what if dying isn't as bad as we think?
• Dying Is Unexpectedly Positive

Tina Preisler is an amazing woman living in Berlin, an angel that worked with many people dying or those around them. She dives deep and asks the hard questions, and is not afraid to face reality as is. A generous soul, a psychologist and many other fancy titles, but trust me - what matters is her ability to look inside and share honestly.

Doron Hanoch has experienced a near death experience himself, contemplated living and dying since he joined the army, and is always willing to look deep inside into his own shadows and light.