I started working on Hanumanasana, the splits, when I was 40. Once while practicing it at a studio with mirrors, I caught a glimpse of my face. Not a pretty one, I must admit. I looked like I was in agony. Too much effort not enough ease – Stirha Sukha.
My hamstrings, for sure, were more like ham-chains, but that had nothing to do with my face. I understood. If I fight my body, my body will resist. You can do yoga for years and not progress. It is not only about how much you practice, but just as important, how you practice.

Patanjali yoga sutra 2.46: sthira sukham asanam.

It means: steady and with ease. Or, firm, yet relaxed.

It’s usually taught in the context of holding poses. Be strong enough to maintain the shape, but soft enough to breathe through it without making funny faces.

I softened into my hanumanasna, clamed my breath, and relaxed the mind, stayed longer using a glass hour of 3 minutes, repeated three times on each side, and a year later I was in full splits. 

The stirha sukha way of practicing the pose is the same way to practice our life!

How you work, how you build a business. How you show up in relationships.

Too much sthira (effort)? You burn out. You force. You push through exhaustion and call it discipline.

Too much sukham (ease)? Nothing gets done. You drift. You avoid discomfort and call it self-care.

The magic is in the balance.

I see this constantly. People come to yoga looking for peace, but they practice with the same intensity they bring to their jobs. They force the breath. They push their bodies into poses they aren’t ready for. They turn yoga into another performance.

Or they go the opposite direction. Everything becomes so “flowy” and soft that there’s no structure, no growth, no edge. The universe will take care of everything!

“Real transformation happens in the space between effort and ease.”

Here is how to apply stirha sukha right now:

• Working on a project? Focus for 90 minutes, then truly rest for 15 minutes. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, go for a slow walk, or stretch gently while keeping awareness of your breath.
• In a conversation? Listen with focus (sthira), but without tension (sukham). Stay present, soften the background commentary while you listen.
• Planning your day? Have structure (sthira), but leave space for flow (sukham). Structure is important. And, also leave blocks of unscheduled time for whatever comes up.

This is living with the yin and yang balanced, where the masculine and feminine live in harmony.

This also applies to meditation.
Early on my meditation journey, I would attend Ananda Ashram in upstate New York. I had over 8 years of meditation under my belt, and yet I would still treat it as a task to accomplish. One day, the little old lady leading the group told me after the session. Doron, you have perfect posture, but it appears you are trying too hard. Surrender into the meditation. It was a game-changer.

Show up, do the work with focus and right effort (sthira), and at the same time relax into it (sukha), finding ease.

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With Stirha Sukha,

Doron