How to Overcome Fear

You decide to start your own business. You make the list of all the pros and cons. You start figuring out costs, and possibilities. Now you have the full business plan ready and it all looks promising. But then fear comes in. What is the worst-case scenario?

You are in a yoga class. The class is over, and you get a glimpse of the beautiful man across the room. You really want him to come over and say something. Maybe you even look his way, but he just does not get the hint. Should you approach him and start a conversation. What is the worst case scenario? OK, now you get the courage, you start a nice little chat, and you are about to part ways. He does not ask you for your number. You really don’t want to let this go, but you are afraid of breaking the rules and asking him if he wants to meet again. It’s his job after all, right? What if you do ask? What would be the worst- case scenario?

How do you deal with it?

There can be many situations and the outcomes may vary dramatically. In some cases you may think that the worst-case scenario would be going bankrupt. In another it may be rejection. Another situation may seem to be actually dangerous physically, and may lead to an injury.

In all cases, the worst-case scenario is your mind. What? Are you kidding? How can that be when I have lost all my money and have 2 kids to take care of, a mortgage… or when the man will look at me like a fool and I will never be able to come back to that yoga studio that I love so much, or really  – if I buy a motorcycle and can lose a limb?

Not ideal

No doubt, these are situations no one would ever want to be in or experience. They are devastating for sure, and can be extremely hard to deal with. But whatever happens, that is your new situation that you have to deal with. That is the opportunity to be present with whatever is. If you lose it all, and your mind does not interfere, you take whatever steps you need to file bankruptcy, ask for help from family, or do whatever it takes to start again. The embarrassment of rejection can cause suffering only if we allow our ego to take over. Our ego is a manifestation of the mind. If the mind does not create a story, then you would not feel embarrassed. If there is no ego – no self – who is it that is embarrassed?

Even in the truly unimaginable situation of an accident, where we may be disabled, the worst-case scenario is not our loss of ability, but the way the mind will deal with it. As bad as the situation may be, if we deal with it in a positive way, and find the beauty in what we have left, or maybe the fact that now we actually have to slow down and pay attention to the little details – it may be manageable, but if we decide that all is lost – then the situation will really be bad.

It’s a Story

For many of us, most times when we need to consider the worst-case scenario, it is far less dramatic than the situations presented here, but it appears to be dramatic because of the stories the mind creates. The worst-case scenario is when the mind makes the situation worst than it is. Every situation is determined by our attitude far more than what the situation actually is.

Think Blue Jasmine – The recent movie by Woody Allen – two sisters with very different situations go through some dramas in their lives, and are affecting each other’s lives as well. For each of them, the other’s situation may seem far more – or less – dramatic than to the person going through it. No matter if it is simply losing riches, or constantly being in relationships that may appear unhealthy, it is their attitudes that actually determine how bad the situation actually is.

There are people who make the best of devastating situations such as losing eye sight or becoming quadriplegic. At first it may seem like life has lost its meaning, but with the right attitude, there are situations where the person may discover new-found happiness that may have not even been there before. I do not wish any form of suffering or misfortune onto anyone, but I do wish onto all the ability to keep a healthy positive perspective, no matter what the scenario is.

Remember that the worst-case scenario is created by your mind.

Share the Positivity

Please leave a comment about your worst-case scenario and how you dealt with it. Share this article with a friend who would benefit from overcoming the fear of the unknown.

For more lessons and guidance, come and visit us for a retreat at Doron Yoga & Zen Center. Check out the Doron Yoga Manual for many worthwhile tips on how to apply yogic philosophy and mindfulness to your daily life.

Blissful Living,

Doron