Stories and Drama in Our Head

Being addicted to drama happens over time. Like many addictions, we begin with some mini exaggerations of reality, feeling a victim, dramatically criticizing, taking things out of context or loosing sight of what actually is happening.

Some of us feel more alive when there is drama in our life. Furthermore, our emotional states are more sensitive, alert and reactive, all which increase feelings – for better or for worse.

Relationships might not feel alive unless they have stories and drama. Some situations don’t feel worth talking about unless we fabricate a story, or make it grander that it was, thus bringing drama into it. 

Internal and External Drama

Drama can be external or internal. Internal drama happens when we make stories up about what is happening to us. Often, these stories are bigger than what is actually happening.  During my time in the U.S. I often heard people use the expression, “Making a mountain out of a molehill.” We exaggerate and make the happenings feel as if they’re a big deal. Many of our internal dramas are led by the ego. Like an ego rich demanding army general, it loves feeling respected and powerful . It assures us that life does not get dull. However, how often do we want to escape to a yoga retreat just to get away from the over dramatic life we lead? 

The external drama is more of a distraction for the mind. This includes what we observe and what we absorb from those observations. It also includes other people’s drama, even fictitious drama on TV or the exaggerations of the news. These kinds of drama take us from our present moment, and add excitement to our life.

The external dramas also help strengthen the ego. We are less of a failure if others have it worst. focusing on outer drama, other people, news, social media, movies, or any other reality that is not our own, may help distract us from what is actually happening to ourselves at the very moment, especially if it’s negative.

Many people use external drama as a way to fog their own reality. As a means of escape. The drama, of course, can be of a positive attitude as well.  When the trip we have just taken is the BEST trip ever – or the dinner, the party, the date, the wedding – If it were truly the best, are you bound for a downhill turn? Life always has ups and downs, but how do we deal with them is what matters. 

Being Addicted to Drama, How Stories and Drama Show Up 

Essentially, all drama is perceived as big or small and good or bad.  The mind puts a label on it and then makes up a story around it. For example, we might decide that the divorce we’re going through is the end of the world, making it both a big and bad deal. This is just a label we’re giving it.  We’re adding more pain than necessary to the actual happenings. The same thing happens when we lose a job or worry about death. If we take the pain we are going through and add a bigger story to it, we then turn the pain to a greater suffering. The pain of pain. If we can remain in the present moment, and take appropriate action to the needs of the moment, without going into our heads and converting reality to a Netflix drama, we actually go through it faster and with greater ease.

Take Better Action Without the Drama

Practice being present 24/7. Meditation practices help us stay focused on the present moment, and have awareness of the mind activities (the citta vrittis).

The more we practice awareness when we are at ease,  the better we can control our mind (nirodha)Thus we would be able to take action that is found in a conscious response rather than an unconscious reaction. Action that is not tainted by the labeling of our minds (manas).  The right action that leads to a state of equanimity (upeksha). A state where the drama doesn’t overtake the wellness of our being.

We should strive to be in charge of our minds and see reality for what it actually is. To not make pain out of sensations and happenings that don’t need to be painful.  Not to allow unwanted drama into our life. We can hold a boundary against the suffering that exaggerated drama brings. This is what gives us freedom from suffering, and entry to states of peace.

In Peace,

Doron